I guess this is my version of a close friend’s on Instagram. I’m about to be very honest. Ya boi is mentally tired and exhausted. Yet I have a reason to celebrate. This past Sunday was DLS (Day light savings) and it marks the first full fall/winter in about 5 years that I haven’t had to take any anti depressants. What has helped me is one simple truth……… nobody will ever 100% understand what it’s like being you, and to dig even deeper nobody actually cares like they say they do. So enjoy your life.

I’ve taken more time to address myself and be completely honest with God and because of that transparency, I believe he has brought me to a place where I no longer need an additional pick me up in the form of medication. As I reflect on the season, I’ve come to this resolve:

1. You have permission to guard your heart: Jesus had 3 in his inner circle. Not everybody should be allowed in your inner circle. You’re allowed to be private and you’re allowed to only disclose what you want to disclose. Be patient with yourself and know you’re value. You don’t have to open up to a level you’re not comfortable with to people who don’t have the necessary history with you. Now I’m not saying be cold, but be wise.

2. Take breaks: I took a two month break from School, Gym, Church, and even took my remaining 2 weeks of PTO from my Job. And guess what. It’s ok. Jesus often secluded for a number of reasons and even God “rested” on the 7th day so that we know withdrawing and resting are ok. Isolation isn’t always a cry for help or a bad thing. Sometimes you just need to get away and when God tells you to move, withdraw, sit down you have to do it. It’s for your own good anyway.

3. Balanced mentorship: Some of the safest spaces and best advice I received this past year were from people who wouldn’t come within 100 feet of a church. You don’t want to be so heavenly minded that you are no earthly good. Always have balance. You live in this natural world too. Also discern peoples capacity for wisdom no matter how much money they have, the title they have, who they work for, or side hustles they have. Slow down and observe their life for a minute. Know who’s holding you accountable.

4. Stop explaining yourself: Your an adult. You’re in possession of your birth certificate and social security card. You don’t owe an explanation to anybody you don’t want to explain yourself to. Chances are they probably won’t get it anyway.

5. Embrace your differences: lean into you. You can’t sit and admire everyone else’s creativity, hobbies, life and not discover that for yourself. If you like to write, write. If you like to bike, bike. If you like to game, game. Fully lean into and embrace you.

6. Family Heals: Being around your immediate family restores you in so many ways. It’s hard to explain and I don’t feeling like digging through scripture to prove this point because there’s no need. Family is important and it’s healing spending time with parents, siblings, cousins, etc. Especially if you live out of town. My niece and nephews are older now (16,12,7) but during Christmas they pranked me and messed with me like they did when they were toddlers. I remember 10 years ago being able to play with them as an uncle does, and it brought healing being able to do that again even as they’ve grown.

Now I know this list may seem very basic, but it worked. Progress is the goal no matter the form it takes. We should always look to get better in multiple areas of our life. Most of these areas are holistic and overlap anyway. So, day in and day out. Season after season. Year after year. Know that progress is available.