Yeah, I know………… I dropped the ball. I don’t have anything specific to share, so I’ll provide an update on how life has been over the past few months.

Let’s start with the positives. I just recently celebrated a birthday. I’m now 28, and I can say that this birthday was different in that I actually celebrated it. Yeah, I know, you’re probably thinking “well, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?????”. The answer is yes. But I lost sight of that over the past few years. Besides making a purchase, I can’t remember the last time I celebrated myself. I’ve come a long way, and I’m grateful for the people God has placed in my life to help me realize that.

I’m now in a relationship, and it’s something I didn’t expect. I remember telling God after the previous situation with another woman went sideways that I was done. I said I was just going to focus on school and chilling. I was in the process of turning that organ in my chest cold in terms of feelings, emotions, and just sticking to doing homework and typing papers. Yet from the moment I met my Girlfriend, all I’ve noticed is how easy it’s been letting her into my life and understanding who I am. What she has brought out of me has helped make that transition easy. I believe it’s important to observe what qualities people bring out of you.

Does this person reinforce the walls I currently have up?

Does this person bring my intellect out?

Does this person bring my adventure out?

Does this person bring anger out of me?

From these observations, you can make an informed decision to then completely pursue or go a different direction. That’s the purpose of the “talking stage” or “dating”; it’s so you have enough info to take another step. With that said, all has been well. What may be a little rocky or difficult, we have discussed and moved forward. Even the disagreements we have are encouraging because the dialogue we have is healthy.

Something else interesting in my life is that I recently started meeting with two young men to read the Bible every now and then. I really enjoy breaking things down in a way that brings us out of our Western minds and places us in the East as best as we can, and then back to the West for life applications. I’m noticing a burden for helping people through the tough questions they may have about God, his word, and their walk. It’s helping add another level of purpose to my day-to-day. At first, I wanted to go to seminary for myself, and when my future wife and kids may have questions, but now I’m noticing I’m not just in school for people who may eventually have my last name. I’m learning to settle in walking alongside people, even as I continue to grow.

Now, on the flip side of growing older and the softness of being in a relationship, there is also an increase in stress and the feeling of being misunderstood. Faith, family, work, school, church, social, financial, health, and other places in my life have all been areas where I’m noticing some additional pressure. Nothing I can’t handle, but shifts have been taking place in every category of my life and in the lives of those who are connected to me in some of these categories. Because of that, what’s been happening is my mind is constantly on the go and thinking from the moment I open my eyes to the moment I go to sleep. I’m usually a person who tries to be two steps ahead, but it takes its toll constantly being in the next.

Day after day, I see my steps before I take them, but my issue is that I’m trying to take too many. I mentally prep for tomorrow, and I haven’t even gotten out of bed today yet. It can be a bit much, but it’s teaching me to value the still moments. Even more importantly, it’s teaching me to take expectations off myself and let God lead the way. Trying to master my day takes all control out of his hands and places it in my own ability, which is limited by my own strength. You probably see how this can be a difficult task for me based on what you’ve read so far, but I’m excited about what’s ahead. I know for a fact that the next areas of growth that I know God wants to mature me in are stillness, patience, and control. I look forward to my continued journey in the year 28. A lot I want to do and accomplish, but my mindset now is that it’ll get done when it gets done. Why? Because I’ve given God back the keys to the Delorean, and although I don’t know where he is taking me, I have no problem waiting to see.