REFLECTION TIIIIIIIIIME. Alright. So it’s been about 6 months since I’ve stepped into my lead(ership) role within the company I started with since I’ve been in Houston. In my own opinion, and I say this humbly, I don’t know if I’m doing that well. My Director and the people he reports to say I’m doing awesome, but I’m not sure if it’s because I actually am or because their platitude’s are kicking in. Nonetheless, I believe this role has really expanded my understanding of what leadership actually is. You read books in college or hear leaders talk about leadership, but it’s actually something you have to experience to resonate with the grace. Here’s what I’ve learned.

-The False Dichotomy: In most scenarios, whether it’s at school, work, marriage, meetings, problem solving, etc we believe we have two options. This limits and pressures to make a decision instantly when you actually do not have to. Why? because there are always more outcomes you haven’t considered due to the fact that you’ve cornered your self with left or right, back or forward, red or blue, black or white in an instant. When you take yourself out of the pressure of the moment and breathe you can allow God to show you other avenues.

-Decision fatigue: man, do you have to make a lot of decisions or what!!! Major, minor, split second, pro longed. Leadership is full of decisions on a moment to moment basis that affect your current standing but also the following years. If you trace it right, David’s decision to pursue Bathsheba had a lot to do with Abram’s decision to take Lot with him when God told him(and him alone) to leave. When you take this into account, decision making takes a lot out of you especially when it’s constant. I used to hear preachers say “the world needs you”. That doesn’t sound like a rallying cry to go out there and kill it. Sounds like leaders need to curate environments where the final decision isn’t on them. Confront the need for control and you’ll have a free flowing day. Don’t use the gps, let the waiter or your date randomly pick your meal at the restaurant, play open world video games.

-Authority and Proof in the Grace: If this is what you are, this is what you are. There is no running from it, there is no saying no to it. Once you are ear marked and placed as a Leader you will carry that authority no matter what environment you are in. Speaking from a ecclesiastical angle. You can’t tell me you carry the authority to lead in the spirit but don’t lead nothing. In the scripture. The first time we see God talk he said “Let there be light” and the Bible says “and there was light” and “he separated the light from the darkness”. Two things from this. There was no quarrel. God said something and it became instantly. No back talk. Just straight up light. And then the separation. I called something, it came to be instantly and then I set it apart permanently. Now it can perform its complete function. Light literally cannot be darkness, it has been set apart to be something else. It cannot be something it’s not. Light is light and it’s evidence that it’s light is its separation from darkness. That’s why if we were to see light and darkness in the same room we know the difference, because that law was established by God. A leader IS A LEADER!!!!!! God called you so, and you are that instantly. All that is left is maturing into it. Now of course there are different capacities, categories, and degrees but that identity is there. If the identity and the DNA is there, the authority is there.

So far, leadership is alright. It can be tiring, sacrificial, isolating. But it’s also rewarding, impactful, exciting. I’m both excited and humbled to see where God takes me. I have no idea what he has in store for me, but I also have no idea what he will require from me. You don’t get to choose what to sacrifice. The reason I say this is because your whole life shifts to the point where you may only be able to give 30% where it used to be 50% across the board. Factor in prioritizing, some categories of your life maybe 0%. Not by choice but because the day demands it. Either way I’m still preparing, still grateful, and still pressing towards the mark.